Greetings as we approach the darkest days of the year and move to the return of the light.

It is time to focus on a practice of gratitude and generosity of spirit. I am grateful to the whole KATI community and the work that is being done to bring light into the world and to honour and alleviate pain and suffering. This is a time of generosity and giving. A time to pay attention to the deeper meanings and the symbolism of a gift. This is a time of giving – what do you have to give? Or what do you want to give? What are you receiving? How can we give a gift of belonging, being seen, feeling connected and valued? Each of you is special and a gift to the world.

As you come to the end of the semester and digest your experience, I urge you to reflect on the essence that you can distill and take away. Can you attend to the classic fairytale task of separating the wheat from the chaff – and discover what is moving in you? Perhaps it is time for a pause, a rest, a time of renewal. Perhaps a time for 12 days of art making. Perhaps a time for 12 days of writing poetry or prayers.

There is a lot of talk at KATI about transformational learning: what does this mean? It is not a straight road or smooth sailing on the ocean. It is uncomfortable, rough weather, bumpy roads, and often dark and stormy. It is a time and process of uncertainty, with an awareness of complexity and requires a willingness to “stay with the trouble” (Haraway, 2016).

I would remind you that in all fairytales there is an introductory dynamic, a loss or lack, and a prohibition which may be spoken or unspoken. It is also important that there needs to be a violation of the prohibition to move the story forward – for growth and development in awareness or maturation. The prohibition may be that you can do anything or go anywhere in the house or castle except go into that door or room. Behind that door or in that room, depending on the story or individual, there may be various unconscious internalized parts of our psyche. We all must violate the prohibition in our own transformation.

It is hard sometimes to have gratitude for the people that wake us up, press our buttons, irritate, trigger, question, empathize, with and / or reject. However, if we “other” people, by blaming or shaming, critiquing, scapegoating, ignoring, bullying and making the butt of jokes - we create a war zone, a separation in our minds, we are no longer exploring commonalities but emphasizing division and separation. The individual and not the collective. This is colonialism in action and not a decolonized post humanist stance. Can we shift from a demand for safety to a willingness to be ‘brave?’ Let us honour each person’s vulnerability and the braveness to self-reflect. Transformational learning calls for a paradigm shift to take these points of pain and increase compassion for the suffering of self and others. Let’s work on shifting our attention from you and the other to naming our own transgressions in thought, deed or voice.

An important part of becoming a therapist is to be aware of the impact we have on others. Pay attention to your speech and what you say – attune to how it lands for the other and reflect on how it lands if you are speaking about others and the potential discomfort of those listening. There is a traditional Indigenous saying that we have 2 ears, 2 eyes and 1 mouth, so we should be very thoughtful and cautious how to speak respectfully.

The philosophy of deep ecology speaks to the value of each and everyone and all our multi-species kin. Intrinsic value, and deep respect, take time to be present with each other and accept that everyone’s journey is unique and has its own rhythm. Stay with your own feelings and process and honour your colleagues.

At the turn of the light, it is a time to remember and celebrate the green and coming days. Wet soaked grey and red brown touched with gold. A rough and ruddy time of wet leaves and nuts. Moving into the darkest time of the year, opening into the multitude of feelings. The complexity of life and residue of family upbringings. A dreamtime awash with deep desire and yearning, for that sense of place and belonging. The desire to bring the fragments and remnants together and to weave a new self - made with the warp of the past and woven into the weft of today.

With warmth and deep appreciation for each and every one of you,

Monica Carpendale

Professor Emeritus and founder of KATI

Nov. 26, 2025